Before she died, my mother, brother and I used to sit in the car in the parking lot of the local hospital and pass the time playing games while my father visited sick patients. We’d wait for him to finish his rounds so that we could go to a museum, or a baseball game, or something. I’d usually climb into the driver’s seat, where I would work on perfecting my steering-wheel skills. I would do […]
I have to admit something. I kind of wish that I never read Ellen’s stupid, stupid note. I’m not really in the mood to be obsessing over my status as “the motherless girl” right now. I’ve got too many other things to worry about. For instance, I am having a lot of trouble sorting through all the new rules and rituals that come with suddenly being an adolescent instead of a little kid. It wouldn’t […]
I know that I have been using the word “death” a lot, but I don’t mean to be morbid or anything. It’s just that I can’t stand those awful alternatives “passed away” and “passed on.” People who use those terms always sound so full of false sympathy to me. Whenever I hear someone say, “I was terribly sorry to hear that so and so passed away,” a chill runs down my spine and I can’t […]
For the rest of my life I will wonder how much I actually did and did not know about what was going on with my mother when she was ill. Ever since my epiphany that day at Ellen’s house, I have been trying to figure out if I ever really believed that my mom was going to get better (like my dad wanted me to), or if I actually knew, deep down inside, that she […]
